Earlier this week I wrote that I was officially retiring from NBA writing because DeMarcus "Boogie" Cousins signed with the almighty Warriors.
Looks like I lied about that.
Well, I don't know if lied is exactly the right word; I've often been referred to as "Flip-Floppin' Frascella" (aka "Flip-Floppin' Fro"), and that appears to be what I'm doing right this very second. Flip-floppin' in full effect. Hey, at least I'm consistent. Sort of.
Before we get into Round 3 of my report cards, take a moment to track how we got here:
Round 1: Headlined by Paul George, Chris Paul, DeAndre Jordan and Nikola Jokic.
Round 2: Featured megastars LeBron James, Kevin Durant and more.
This time around, we might as well start with the elephant in the room...
1. DeMarcus Cousins signs a 1-year, $5.3 million deal with the 2x defending-champion Warriors.
Team Grade: A
Player Grade: A
I almost gave the Warriors an A- because Cousins could bring controversy to a club that doesn't need it. Obviously Golden State was vulnerable against Houston in the Western Conference Finals, so I understand the Warriors' interest in bolstering their already-legendary attack.
Coming off such a devastating injury, I'm sure Golden State will bring Boogie along slowly. I don't expect to see him early in the regular season; 2019 marks a more likely return to the hardwood.
But, he should be mostly healthy come playoff time. And that's when this move is really going to be annoying for the rest of us. The Rockets weren't able to add LeBron to James Harden and CP3; the Spurs continue to deal with the never-ending Kawhi Leonard saga; the Thunder are one short behind Russell Westbrook and PG, and the rest of the conference isn't experienced or ready enough to be considered a legitimate preseason threat to The Evil Empire.
This is bad. It's all bad. The Rockets better at least get Clint Capela back.
2. Julius Randle inks a 2-year, $18 million deal with the Pelicans.
Team Grade: C+
Player Grade: C
Errrrr, I'm not too sure about this one.
Is Nikola Mirotic going to play small forward? Is Randle? Are one of these two guys gonna be asked to carry New Orleans' second unit?
Any way you slice it, these two are going to see the court together -- most likely at crunchtime. I don't like the skillsets in relation to the franchise's centerpiece, Anthony Davis. AD and Mirotic work very well together, but not those two plus Randle. I don't like the floor spacing and I don't like the mix of personnel.
Randle and the Pelicans both could have made better decisions.
3. Zach LaVine re-signs with the Bulls for 4 years, $78 million.
Team Grade: C
Player Grade: A-
I mean, the Bulls are supposed to be tanking, right? Am I missing something here?
Obviously they are looking to save face from the Jimmy Butler deal. They don't feel they've had enough time to evaluate LaVine's potential long-term impact, so...seventy-eight million?? Yikes, fellas. (I know they had to match Sacramento's offer sheet.)
Every article I read tells me LaVine sucks according to almost all advanced metrics. Buuuut, I'm gonna choose to ignore those articles. He's a plus-plus athlete with volume-scoring ability. The mental aspect of his game needs years of careful development, but the potential impact is there. I don't view him as a franchise player, but he could be a 22-24 PPG guy.
In the short-term, the Bulls are going nowhere. We'll see how their youngsters develop over a 2-4 year span.
4. Tyreke Evans signs with the Pacers for 1 year, $12 million.
Team Grade: A+
Player Grade: A
"That's a bingoooo!" in Christoph Waltz's voice from Inglourious Basterds.
The Pacers lost Lance Stephenson to "LABron" and his Lakers, but Tyreke is a far superior player. This is a savvy slasher who averaged 19.4 points, 5.2 assists and 5.1 rebounds per game with the offensively-challenged Grizzlies last season. His three-point shooting percentage was the second-best of his career, at 39.9. Evans is aging like fine wine...except for the injuries. That's always something you have to keep an eye on with him.
IF he can play 60+ games, this is a home run for both parties. Tyreke can start or carry your second unit. Nate McMillan and Victor Oladipo will have fun with him.
5. Jusuf Nurkic re-signs with the Blazers for 4 years, $48 million.
Team Grade: B+
Player Grade: B
I happen to like Nurkic; but this feels like a sinking ship. Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum have been voicing some public concerns about the construction of the Blazers' roster, and they absolutely shit the bed against the Pelicans in the postseason. Portland has reached the playoffs three-straight seasons, but I have a feeling that streak ends this year.
Eventually it'll be time to tear it down. Nurkic is a good, old-school center, though.
6. Derrick Favors re-signs with the Jazz for 2 years, $36 million.
Team Grade: C
Player Grade: A+
Derrick Favors is just a blah player. He's not terrible, but he's bad enough that Quin Snyder had to completely avoid using him at times in the playoffs. Favors knows his role, which is nice, but that role isn't impactful enough for me to care. The Jazz will be battling for a postseason spot with the aforementioned Blazers and Pelicans, as well as the Timberwolves, Nuggets and others. Brutal conference.
7. Avery Bradley re-signs with the Clippers for 2 years, $25 million.
Team Grade: C
Player Grade: A
Ugh, do we really care about the Clippers at this point? What a mess. Doc Rivers drives Chris Paul out of town with preferential treatment for his son, Austin; then, with CP3 gone, he ends up trading his son for washed-up Marcin Gortat. I dunno what's going on.
Bradley was more of a thing with the Celtics. He's lost his luster. Like Favors, I don't really view him as a true impact player.
8. Rajon Rondo signs a 1-year, $9 million deal with the Lakers.
Team Grade: B-
Player Grade: B-
I don't know, man...what exactly is going on here?
Rajon Rondo had a great thing going with Davis, Mirotic and Jrue Holiday in New Orleans -- why would both parties want to break that up? That was as well as Rondo has played in a looooong time.
Now he joins "Showtime" aka the "Baby Lakers" with the LeBron circus and a truly bizarre roster. Maybe Lonzo Ball will be out longer than we expect? LeBron, Lonzo, Rondo and Brandon Ingram all like to handle the ball. I dunno about this mix, either. If Lonzo is out a long time, the Rondo move makes a bit more sense.
Meanwhile the Pelicans committed to Elfrid Payton, instead. He's horrible. I don't understand what anyone is doing anymore.
9. Kyle Anderson signs a 4-year, $37.2 million offer sheet with the Grizzlies.
Team Grade (if they ultimately get him): D
Player Grade: A
Would you actively seek out an NBA player whose nickname is "Slow-Mo"?
And it's not like, a cute childhood moniker or anything of the sort. His nickname is Slow-Mo...because he's slow. At the NBA level, his lack of foot speed sticks out like a sore thumb. He's a nice little defender and team-first player, but he also isn't that good at basketball.
$37 million is a lot of money for a fringe role player. Memphis likes dumping money on guys like this and Chandler Parsons. What a disaster over there.
Tune in next time, if Capela ever signs on a dotted line.
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