It's "Captain Live" DJ Toby's favorite time of year.
No, not the holidays, but the time for me to rank the NFL's notable quarterbacks. He'll read this list, blow a gasket, and then I'll receive 447 texts from friends and family members who want to know why I'm so friggin' high on Marcus Mariota.
Before we get into it, as always, I have to explain my system:
1. The current season carries the most weight in my mind, but last year deserves some consideration, and the year prior gets an iota.
2. Second half, it's a close game...can this quarterback protect the ball, maximize possessions and make plays under intense physical and emotional pressure?
3. Does this guy have confidence in his ability? And if so, is that confidence warranted, or is he an absolute moron like Robert Griffin III?
4. Physical skills to consider: Arm strength, accuracy, footwork, throwing mechanics, mobility in and out of the pocket, field vision, ability to extend plays, size, strength and agility.
5. Mental skills to consider: Game preparation, knowledge of opposing defenses, pocket presence, clock and score awareness, confidence to check out of poor playcalls in exchange for upgrades, ability to rebound from mistakes and awareness of personal limitations.
I'm probably forgetting something, but let's get rollin'...
Dishonorable Mention(s): You couldn't even make the top 75???
Cardale Jones - Bills
Christian Hackenberg - Jets
Johnny Fro's Top 75
75. Jacoby Brissett, Patriots: Protected the ball well in a decisive victory over the Texans in Week 3. If you watched the game, you had to consider the following possibility:
Is Jacoby Brissett better than Brock Osweiler? Isn't Osweiler making over $70 million, while Brissett is a kid from the practice squad?
74. Kellen Clemens, Chargers: Philip Rivers is so durable that the Chargers don't even know if Clemens can complete a 5-yard pass anymore. He could be the worst player in the world, but no one would know the difference right now.
73. Matt Schaub, Falcons: I feel like I say this every year, but...yes, this guy is still in the league. Yes, his pass velocity is in the vicinity of 42 MPH.
72. Scott Tolzien, Colts
71. Joe Webb, Panthers: An athletic third-stringer who can make plays with his legs if necessary.
70. Sean Mannion, Rams: Yeah, so I only know him from Hard Knocks. Who are you trying to kid? You know we're in the same boat.
69. Josh Johnson, Giants
68. Austin Davis, Broncos
67. Paxton Lynch, Broncos: Gawky, clumsy, inaccurate and ill-prepared. Haven't seen any hopeful signs for the future in his rookie year.
66. Landry Jones, Steelers: Not sure why the Steelers never upgrade here. Whenever Ben goes down -- which is essentially a foregone conclusion at this stage of his career -- Pittsburgh deflates like Ronda Rousey's ego after her sobering loss to Holly Holm. This list will show that there are about 6 or 7 solid third-stringers out there. They should be back-ups.
65. E.J. Manuel, Bills
64. Zach Mettenberger, Steelers: An anti-Zylbertttt guy. As you can see, I think he's a bit better than his teammate, Jones. I thought Mettenberger played fairly well in Tennessee given impossible circumstances. He'll never be a starter, but he could be a back-up.
63. Matt Cassel, Titans
62. Brett Hundley, Packers
These are the reads I have on Goff: Dumb, childish, unwilling to learn and/or make adjustments with overrated physical tools. He'll need an offensive genius to take over their playbook in order to avoid becoming one of the biggest busts in NFL history.
60. Bryce Petty, Jets: I like his energy and competitiveness, but the mental skills simply aren't there. All young quarterbacks are going to throw interceptions, but some of his have been absolutely mind-boggling. He's just not reading coverages. Some will say "he needs time to learn," but I doubt he'll ever get an extended opportunity at the NFL level. He'll hope to be a career back-up, and make some nice money.
59. T.J. Yates, Dolphins: Very surprised that he was initially a third-stringer this season. He's moved up to back-up by default, due to the injury to "franchise quarterback" Ryan Tannehill, but as one of the top 64, he should already have been a back-up. He did a very nice job filling in for Brian Hoyer in Houston last season; he has some moxie.
58. Dan Orlovsky, Lions: A talented career back-up who never gets to take many snaps. The QBs ahead of him have been durable.
57. A.J. McCarron, Bengals
56. Matt McGloin, Raiders
55. Chase Daniel, Eagles
54. Luke McCown, Saints
53. Christian Ponder, 49ers: Another one I'm surprised to see as a third-stringer. He's no world beater, but he was an adequate starter for much of his run in Minnesota. Not loaded with talent, but understands the nuances of the position and protects the ball relatively well. Too solid to be the 3rd man on one of the worst teams in the game.
52. Drew Stanton, Cardinals
51. Robert Griffin III, Browns: I originally had him 49th, but he's just really, really bad. He's terrible without his mobility. His reads are slow and he's horribly inaccurate. There is no question that he's the worst quarterback on the Browns, and yet he continues to start. Hue Jackson is an embarrassment to coaching. If he doesn't get canned, then the Browns organization simply doesn't care about winning. They will continue to be a laughingstock.
33. Carson Wentz, Eagles: We saw some really good things early in the season -- before opposing defensive coordinators had the chance to gameplan for his style -- but once "the word" was out, Wentz fell to one of the least productive starting QBs in the game. I don't see any electric ability here.
30. Sam Bradford, Vikings: Go ahead, tell me that he is the 7th ranked quarterback this season. I know he is. I know the stats...but you're never going to fool me. Franchises will never go anywhere with Sam Bradford as their starting quarterback because he's soft mentally and physically, and limited from a talent standpoint.
60. Bryce Petty, Jets: I like his energy and competitiveness, but the mental skills simply aren't there. All young quarterbacks are going to throw interceptions, but some of his have been absolutely mind-boggling. He's just not reading coverages. Some will say "he needs time to learn," but I doubt he'll ever get an extended opportunity at the NFL level. He'll hope to be a career back-up, and make some nice money.
59. T.J. Yates, Dolphins: Very surprised that he was initially a third-stringer this season. He's moved up to back-up by default, due to the injury to "franchise quarterback" Ryan Tannehill, but as one of the top 64, he should already have been a back-up. He did a very nice job filling in for Brian Hoyer in Houston last season; he has some moxie.
58. Dan Orlovsky, Lions: A talented career back-up who never gets to take many snaps. The QBs ahead of him have been durable.
57. A.J. McCarron, Bengals
56. Matt McGloin, Raiders
55. Chase Daniel, Eagles
54. Luke McCown, Saints
53. Christian Ponder, 49ers: Another one I'm surprised to see as a third-stringer. He's no world beater, but he was an adequate starter for much of his run in Minnesota. Not loaded with talent, but understands the nuances of the position and protects the ball relatively well. Too solid to be the 3rd man on one of the worst teams in the game.
52. Drew Stanton, Cardinals
51. Robert Griffin III, Browns: I originally had him 49th, but he's just really, really bad. He's terrible without his mobility. His reads are slow and he's horribly inaccurate. There is no question that he's the worst quarterback on the Browns, and yet he continues to start. Hue Jackson is an embarrassment to coaching. If he doesn't get canned, then the Browns organization simply doesn't care about winning. They will continue to be a laughingstock.
50. Tom Savage, Texans: It doesn't take much to outplay Osweiler, but Savage looked pretty sharp after Bill O'Brien handed him the keys. (Aside: I've probably said this to everyone I know who follows football, but if the Texans win their division or somehow reach the postseason again, O'Brien HAS to be Coach of the Year. This guy is a miracle-worker. Consider Osweiler's embarrassing play combined with the absence of JJ Watt.)
The key for Savage will be remembering that he has nothing to lose. It's impossible for him to be more disappointing than Osweiler (John Elway is looking savvy once again, right?). Savage needs to play with confidence and lean on DeAndre Hopkins when he can. I think he'll be decent.
49. Chad Henne, Jaguars
48. Brandon Weeden, Texans: Can't believe he's a third-stringer. Weeden is an underrated pocket quarterback who does a nice job when given opportunities. He has confidence in his arm and is a seasoned vet. With him, you don't feel like your season is completely over if your starter goes down. No question he should be a back-up elsewhere.
47. Derek Anderson, Panthers
46. Blaine Gabbert, 49ers: He's wildly inaccurate, a la Robert Griffin, but I was surprisingly impressed by Gabbert's athleticism and foot speed during his stint as a starter this season. He's a playmaker; he just can't make the throws. If he could somehow correct his accuracy issues, he could potentially manipulate opposing defenses with his run/pass versatility. I doubt his broken arm can be fixed at this point, though.
45. Brock Osweiler, Texans: The only thing I like about him is that he gets rid of the ball quickly. He could be like Alex Smith, if he didn't suck so much. He stays ahead of Savage and Weeden until we see Savage play a couple games. Osweiler has played poorly, but he also protected some close wins by not screwing up royally. That's occasional value for a team that needs to win close by nature.
44. Colt McCoy, Redskins: A high-energy, high-character leader who is universally admired by his teammates and coaches. He has the will to win and doesn't back down from anybody, even if he's the inferior talent in the fight. I'll take him on my team any day of the week.
43. Mark Sanchez, Cowboys: Still one of the more seasoned back-up quarterbacks in the league, but he happens to be on a roster that boasts Dak Prescott and Tony Romo. "Sanchize" can go elsewhere and easily be a primary back-up.
43. Mark Sanchez, Cowboys: Still one of the more seasoned back-up quarterbacks in the league, but he happens to be on a roster that boasts Dak Prescott and Tony Romo. "Sanchize" can go elsewhere and easily be a primary back-up.
42. Colin Kaepernick, 49ers: Still has the legs, but can't complete a pass anymore. Chip Kelly is somehow making his 49er quarterbacks worse as time passes.
41. Matt Barkley, Bears: When Brian Hoyer initially went down and Barkley was forced into their Thursday Night game against the Packers, the latter looked as if he had never played football before. Barkley had zero awareness of blitzes or blind-side pressure, and the Packers subsequently pulled away in the second half.
But now, with Hoyer and Jay Cutler both out of the way, Barkley has settled in and played surprisingly well. He broke out with a high-volume, big-number passing performance against the Titans, and has played with confidence and rhythm ever since. I'm not sure he'll ever be a full-time starting quarterback, but he has certainly raised some eyebrows in the past handful of weeks. It's nearly impossible to find a reliable QB at the NFL level, so Barkley has earned his newfound position on the radar.
40. Ryan Mallett, Ravens: I want my Jets to clean house at QB, and I think Mallett is an outsider who deserves an opportunity to compete for a starting job. His professionalism has come into question in the past, but his talent is hard to come by. He's a big, strong, imposing figure under center, and he has the arm to make the pro throws.
Case in point: Long-term, Bill O'Brien went with "character" guys in Hoyer and Osweiler over Mallett...is he really better off? Has an offense with DeAndre Hopkins, Lamar Miller and Will Fuller reached its full potential? I don't think I need to answer that question. Give me the talent first...we'll deal with the "character" issues later.
39. Nick Foles, Chiefs: Another guy I'd like my Jets to take a look at. The pickings are slim -- you have to look for back-ups who could potentially be decent-to-solid starters.
38. Case Keenum, Rams
37. Ryan Fitzpatrick, Jets: This is exactly what happened: (1) Fitz was upset that the Jets wouldn't just give him the salary that he wanted. (2) He's an Ivy League guy -- he was aware, in all likelihood, that this would be his final season as a starter in the NFL. (3) From the very beginning of the season, he made it very clear that he would not be taking any crushing blows from opposing defensive players. He would rather get rid of the ball quickly and heave it into quadruple coverage, than hold on to the ball a millisecond longer in an effort to make the right throw.
40. Ryan Mallett, Ravens: I want my Jets to clean house at QB, and I think Mallett is an outsider who deserves an opportunity to compete for a starting job. His professionalism has come into question in the past, but his talent is hard to come by. He's a big, strong, imposing figure under center, and he has the arm to make the pro throws.
Case in point: Long-term, Bill O'Brien went with "character" guys in Hoyer and Osweiler over Mallett...is he really better off? Has an offense with DeAndre Hopkins, Lamar Miller and Will Fuller reached its full potential? I don't think I need to answer that question. Give me the talent first...we'll deal with the "character" issues later.
39. Nick Foles, Chiefs: Another guy I'd like my Jets to take a look at. The pickings are slim -- you have to look for back-ups who could potentially be decent-to-solid starters.
38. Case Keenum, Rams
He mailed in the season. Plain and simple.
36. Josh McCown, Browns
35. Shaun Hill, Vikings
34. Mike Glennon, Bucs: Another Jet candidate for me. Bring him in.
33. Carson Wentz, Eagles: We saw some really good things early in the season -- before opposing defensive coordinators had the chance to gameplan for his style -- but once "the word" was out, Wentz fell to one of the least productive starting QBs in the game. I don't see any electric ability here.
32. Trevor Siemian, Broncos: A very boring, average NFL quarterback. Not terrible, but not a franchise cornerstone.
31. Blake Bortles, Jaguars: We all witnessed the REAL Blake Bortles this season. He was a fantasy darling in 2015, but he's nothing more than a garbage time, mop-up man. His arm action is too long and his nerves too weak for crunch time NFL action. He doesn't have the goods when the going gets tough. I mean, just say his name out loud: Blake...Bortles. He doesn't even sound like a good NFL QB.
Let's go over the facts: (1) The Vikings are undefeated and everything is going swimmingly before Bradford is acquired. (2) Minnesota inexplicably burns a 1st round pick to acquire this clown of a quarterback. (3) Norv Turner mysteriously quits when he realizes how horrible Bradford really is. (4) What was once a promising season, has now deteriorated to the point where there's a mutiny against quality head coach Mike Zimmer.
All dysfunction leads back to Bradford. How did things end up with the Rams and Eagles? Have those franchises been able to correct the wrongs perpetrated by Bradford's primadonna presence on their rosters? I think not.
29. Jay Cutler, Bears: "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent." - A Bronx Tale
28. Cody Kessler, Browns: It's truly a travesty that Hue Jackson has been voluntarily starting Robert Griffin III over this hungry and surprisingly talented kid. Kessler has a quicker release than RGIII, superior accuracy, timing, toughness and natural acumen for his position. He's CLEARLY a better all-around quarterback than Griffin. Any football fan could tell you that; let alone an "expert" or "insider."
27. Teddy Bridgewater, Vikings: The story of his devastating injury is still upsetting to read.
26. Brian Hoyer, Bears
Anyway, I was really impressed by Garoppolo's leadership, positive mentality, lightning-quick release and shockingly advanced timing during his short stint as Bill Belichick's primary signal caller. He looked poised, prepared and completely ready to start at the NFL level. That's a credit to Belichick, Josh McDaniels, Tom Brady and of most importantly, Garoppolo himself. He'll go on to big things.
24. Matt Moore, Dolphins: After riding the pine for a couple seasons, Moore was totally ready to go when Ryan Tannehill went down. Moore has always been positive, confident and talented enough to succeed at the game's highest level. He's my kind of guy. A true professional. The kind of guy that teammates naturally rally around.
23. Tony Romo, Cowboys: I don't think he'll ever be healthy enough to be a full-time starter again. He's only this high on my list for his pure talent. His career is most certainly in jeopardy.
22. Ryan Tannehill, Dolphins: Gotta give head coach Adam Gase a ton of credit for sticking with his guy. I've bashed Tannehill throughout his sub-par career, but he finally showed some improvement under Gase's savvy tutelage. Of course he goes down when he's playing the best ball of his professional career. Football is a cruel game. It'll break your heart every time.
21. Tyrod Taylor, Bills
20. Andy Dalton, Bengals
19. Carson Palmer, Cardinals
18. Jameis Winston, Bucs: He has a lower QB rating than Cody Kessler, Brian Hoyer and Colin Kaepernick, but his "fuck it" gunslinger attitude has proven successful in tight, late-game scenarios. Winston has pulled out a number of close victories this season by making aggressive throws and squeezing them into ridiculously tight windows. I tip my cap to his results this season; I'm just not sure he can sustain this high-wire, tightrope act over time.
17. Joe Flacco, Ravens
16. Alex Smith, Chiefs: I'm personally a huge Alex Smith guy because I love running the ball, controlling the clock and limiting turnovers. That would be my personal coaching style. Smith does his job for Andy Reid, and does it well, but the numbers simply aren't there. 13 touchdowns, 7 picks and a pedestrian 89.9 QB rating.
15. Dak Prescott, Cowboys: 3rd in the NFL in QB rating (a whopping 105.6). 23 touchdowns to only 4 interceptions. Only 4 picks for the entire season! And his team boasts an incredible 13-2 record.
Does that look like an MVP to you? Because it certainly does to me.
I've heard all of the LUDICROUS knocks on this kid: (1) "He's only this good because of his offensive line." (2) "He's only this good because Ezekiel Elliott takes all of the pressure off their passing game." (3) He's only this good because Jason Garrett calls 'simple' plays for him."
Seriously??? Give me a f'n break, people!! I'm sick of all of these haters who insist on knocking players, instead of giving credit where credit is due. Where do we draw the line as a society? Guys who suck in every facet of the game, like Robert Griffin III, deserve to get bashed. But rookies who are defying all the odds and playing consistently superb NFL football?
Come on. This has to stop. If the Cowboys offensive line is responsible for ALL of their success -- which I keep hearing from the pundits, over and over again -- then why did they have the WORST record in the NFC last season? Wasn't it essentially the same offensive line? Why are they 13-2 this year, after being 4-12 last?
The answers are Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott. Two front-line MVP candidates. That's it. Simple.
14. Eli Manning, Giants: This is perhaps the worst I've ever seen him play. If the current trends continue, there's no way he'll be ahead of Prescott next year. I just don't have the cojones to put a rookie ahead of a two-time Super Bowl champion whose team is still winning games, and is also going to be in the playoffs. It doesn't seem logical to me...yet. My leash is short.
13. Philip Rivers, Chargers: Got more and more careless as yet another disappointing season progressed. You have to remain professional at all times if you want to be a top 10 quarterback. You can't make wild throws simply because you are unhappy. I will not reward that.
12. Matthew Stafford, Lions: Calvin Johnson's unexpected retirement forced Stafford to open up his field vision. He spread the ball around to Golden Tate, Marvin Jones, Anquan Boldin, Eric Ebron and Theo Riddick this season. Stafford has always been one of the more naturally gifted quarterbacks in the world, but this year he boosted his stock with much improved efficiency. 22 touchdowns to only 9 interceptions, and his Lions have been a surprise in the playoff hunt.
Now, a few years later, Cousins manages the huddle well, controls clock and tempo, gets rid of the ball quickly and decisively, delivers on time to a difficult array of routes and mixes short and long passes beautifully. It's extremely hard for an opposing defense to settle in against the 2016 version of Kirk Cousins. He and Gruden deserve all the credit in the world. I was really blown away by Cousins this year. Another spot-on selection by fantasy sports legend, Steve Summer.
10. Andrew Luck, Colts: It was a bounce-back statistical season for Luck, but once again he failed miserably in the must-win games. This will likely be the story of his career. Big name. Lot of talent. Short of expectations.
9. Marcus Mariota, Titans: There are approximately 50 quarterbacks who can move the chains pretty well in the middle of the field. Less than 10 are truly successful in the redzone. Marcus Mariota is the best redzone quarterback in the world. Did you know that Mariota began his career with 30 touchdowns in the redzone...without throwing a single interception? Do you know how impossible that is, playing on a Titans team that does not have a No. 1 receiver?
You can come back at me with whatever stats you want; I don't care. I want my team scoring in the redzone. I do NOT want my team turning the ball over in the redzone. Marcus Mariota is EXACTLY my kind of quarterback. His success is even more astonishing when you consider the lack of receiving talent on his team. The Titans have been a crappy team for quite some time. Mariota has single-handedly turned his franchise around. Such a shame to see him go off on that cart...
8. Russell Wilson, Seahawks: Worst I've ever seen him play this season. If he doesn't recommit to the run, his career may continue trending in the wrong direction. And yet, the Seahawks still win, and we know Russ has the magic factor. He's a crunch-time player.
7. Cam Newton, Panthers: Perhaps the most physically gifted quarterback, but we know he's a headcase. Gets down on his teammates when things aren't going well. He should be a top 5 QB, but his attitude has been porous this season, and the Panthers haven't played well as a whole.
He has a loose arm, can make all the throws and is a fun guy to watch. The sky is the limit. I'm sick to my stomach for Raiders fans. I can't even imagine how they feel. Oh wait, I'm a Jets fan. My life is Hell.
5. Drew Brees, Saints: Do I really need to say anything? Just keeps on doing what he does.
4. Matt Ryan, Falcons: Has reached a new level this season. In my opinion it's a three-horse race for MVP: Ryan, Elliott and Prescott, but I know Brady is going to steal some votes. When you miss 4 games because you cheated, you shouldn't be in contention with guys who have suited up and played spectacularly all year.
3. Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers
1. Tom Brady, Patriots: Ugh. Painful.
Bring on the complaints...
