Johnny Fro's 2017 MLB Preseason Predictions: Is It the Indians' Time to Celebrate?

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As my loyal readers already know, I hate these obligatory intros. Let's get right into my projections...

AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST

1. Boston Red Sox:  No team in the AL East is unflappable. The Sox lost David Ortiz -- one of the best all-around hitters in the world and their premier clutch performer -- to retirement, and David Price is heading into the season with elbow issues. At full strength, they are the best team in this division on paper, but I doubt we'll see Price or Drew Pomeranz at their healthiest this year. 

Of course, on the positive side, they have a ridiculous lineup boasting Mookie Betts, Xander Bogaerts, Hanley Ramirez and Dustin Pedroia, with intriguing wild cards like Andrew Benintendi, Jackie Bradley, Sandy Leon and Mitch Moreland. There's a good chance this club will hit 1 through 9. 

Clearly the pitching additions of Chris Sale and Tyler Thornburg are huge, but it's reasonable to doubt repeat performances from Rick Porcello and Steven Wright. And don't forget...this team absolutely flopped in the postseason. The Indians wiped the floor with them. Boston's explosive offense should carry them through the long haul of the regular season, but it will be difficult to be confident in them heading into the playoffs. 

2. Toronto Blue Jays:  The Sox lost Ortiz, and the Jays lost Edwin Encarnacion. This is a similarly devastating loss for them; I'm surprised they allowed him to get away to a fellow AL playoff contender (Indians). He'll be dearly missed, especially with Jose "Joey Bats" Bautista, Russell Martin and Troy Tulowitzki aging toward the twilight of their careers. Toronto's offense will still be better than average, but it won't strike fear, as it had in the recent past. 

On the flip side, this is the best Jays rotation I've seen in quite some time. Aaron Sanchez has the highest upside of the group and is the only true "stud" in terms of stuff, while veterans Marco Estrada and J.A. Happ have aged like fine wine. Talk about "figuring it out" out of nowhere. Estrada gets by with a deceptive over-the-top delivery combined with slow, slower and slowest, but I suspect Happ is on something. Guy used to be a 5th starter/quadruple A player for the Phillies (throwing 88-90), and now he's an AL Cy Young candidate in the toughest offensive division in the game (throwing 93-95)? I'm sorry. Ya can't fool me. 

The rotation rounds out with Marcus Stroman, who is a gamer that isn't as electric as many projected him to be, and Francisco Liriano who is definitely worth a shot as your 5th starter. Overall, the Jays are solid, but they won't be separating themselves from the pack. As we know, the Red Sox, Jays, Orioles and Yankees beat each other up all season long. 

3. New York Yankees:  I guess this ranking is a little controversial. I was going to put the Orioles here because that's the safe way to go, but I wonder if another Wild Card game loss was just too much for Baltimore to take. Buck Showwalter blew the season by leaving Zach Britton unused in the bullpen, and now they have injuries and question marks heading into the new campaign. Anyway, this section is supposed to be about the Yankees.

I'm putting the Yanks here because big league baseball really boils down to two things: You have to hit with runners in scoring position and hold on to close leads. Hitting with RISP can be random from season to season for any given club, but I KNOW the Yankees can hold leads with Dellin Betances and Aroldis Chapman at the back of their bullpen. The Royals did it with Kelvin Herrera, Wade Davis and Greg Holland a couple seasons ago, and the Indians did it last year with Bryan Shaw, Andrew Miller and Cody Allen. Stud bullpens have become immensely valuable; the only question is...who will be that third guy for the Yanks? I think Tyler Clippard is bordering on horrendous. 

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Offensively, the big question around the league is can Gary Sanchez repeat his astounding production from the second half of 2016? Talk about carrying an entire offense. We've seen Yoenis Cespedes do similar things for the Mets. I think Sanchez is a real deal, but I question his support in this lineup. Jacoby Ellsbury and Matt Holliday should be fine, but Didi Gregorius and Brett Gardner are the ones who need to step up. I've been impressed with Didi's development, whereas Gardner has been trending in the opposite direction for a couple years now. This is a bit of a strange team. Could go either way. 

4. Baltimore Orioles:  Zach Britton is having oblique issues and Chris Tillman is already on the shelf. This team doesn't have enough quality arms to withstand such major concerns. Manny Machado, Mark Trumbo and Chris "Crush" Davis will look to carry this high-powered offense, though you never know what you're going to get with Trumbo and Crush. Sure they have absolutely ridiculous pure power, but their strikeout-stuffed slumps can stall you. Trumbo slumped less than ever before last season. Will his stats normalize this year?

However, in the end, offense won't be this club's problem. Their starting pitching is super shaky. I still see Ubaldo Jimenez and Wade Miley penciled into slots. Yuck. This is a team that is clearly built upon offense + bullpen -- with Britton, Darren O'Day, Brad Brach and Mychal Givens -- which is an atypical construction, though we've seen it a bit more in the AL in recent years. It's almost as if the GMs and baseball ops people are saying, "Everyone in the league mashes, so starting pitching is irrelevant." We'll see if there's any truth to that notion. The Orioles' success will be dependent on their own mashing. 

5. Tampa Bay Rays:  I love an easy one: They'll pitch well enough (as always), but in the long run, won't hit enough to truly compete with the Red Sox, Jays and Orioles. 

AMERICAN LEAGUE CENTRAL

1. Cleveland Indians:  Terry Francona's boys are a no-brainer atop this division, though I always like the Tigers better than most. The Indians are a complete team, top to bottom, and now they welcome the aforementioned Edwin Encarnacion to the middle of their already solid lineup. Their fingers are crossed about Michael Brantley's return as well.

Offensively, Jason Kipnis, Francisco Lindor and Carlos Santana were Cleveland's reliable performers last year, while Lonnie Chisenhall, Jose Ramirez and Tyler Naquin provided sparks at different times. Add Encarnacion and Brantley to that mix, and this offense will certainly be productive enough to win a second-straight division title.

In their rotation, everyone fits perfectly into their respective slots. Corey Kluber is a legitimate ace, Carlos Carrasco is an immensely talented No. 2, and so on down the line through Danny Salazar, Trevor Bauer and Josh Tomlin. Relative to their rotation slots, they can all be considered elite.

The Indians' bullpen should again be fantastic with Bryan Shaw, Andrew Miller and Cody Allen at the back. There's absolutely no reason to doubt repeat success from this club. It would take a slew of devastating injuries for them to disappoint.

2. Detroit Tigers:  This is a well-rounded roster, with the exception being the bullpen arms leading up to one of the game's all-time great closers, Francisco "K-Rod" Rodriguez, who still finds a way to get it done.

Offensively, there's no way to argue with the nucleus of Miguel Cabrera, Ian Kinsler, J.D. Martinez, Justin Upton and Victor Martinez. A wonderful balance of batting average plus power. In their rotation, you have to like the threesome of Justin Verlander, Jordan Zimmermann and Michael Fulmer. So basically the question is...will the Tigers hold their leads in the middle innings, during the bridge from their starters to K-Rod?

Time will tell. They'll be in the AL Wild Card mix.

3. Kansas City Royals:  I don't love this team on paper, but I think their championship experience and general competitiveness will keep them ahead of the White Sox and Twins. Kansas City's offense seems light without Kendrys Morales (casualty this offseason) and Ben Zobrist (year before), and I don't like the additions of Jorge Soler and Brandon Moss. Too many strikeouts. Too many easy outs. Too many sub-par major league at bats.

Ned Yost's starting pitching is average with Danny Duffy, Ian Kennedy and Jason Hammel expected to lead the way, and their once-dominant bullpen isn't nearly as intimidating. The Royals' World Series days are a thing of the past.

4. Chicago White Sox 
5. Minnesota Twins

I don't like either of these teams. Chicago's starting pitching is shaky with a good-enough bullpen, while Minnesota's pitching is laughable top to bottom. These clubs have been struggling to get over the hump in recent years, and I don't see much changing this time around. Both teams should hit better than they pitch, as the White Sox still have Jose Abreu, Todd Frazier and Melky Cabrera, while the Twins cross their fingers, looking for upside production from Miguel Sano, Byron Buxton and Max Kepler.

My guess is the Twins will hit better than the ChiSox, while the latter will pitch better because of their bullpen led by David Robertson and Nate Jones. Neither club will compete with the Indians or Tigers in this division.

AMERICAN LEAGUE WEST

1. Texas Rangers:  This division was a tough one. I liked the Rangers' lineup better with Carlos Beltran in it, and now he's suiting up for the rival Astros. However, in the end, Texas is more versatile than any of its primary competitors.

Offensively, they'll be carried by Adrian Beltre, Rougned Odor and Jonathan Lucroy, with questionable support from wild cards Mike Napoli, Carlos Gomez and Shin-Soo Choo, three guys in the latter third of their careers. Napoli's power production may have been fluky last season and if Gomez is truly good again, then he has to be back on the juice. That's roid rage if I've ever seen it. 

Texas' rotation is solid with Yu Darvish, Cole Hamels, Martin Perez and A.J. Griffin, and their bullpen is very strong, boasting great stuff from Matt Bush, Jeremy Jeffress and Sam Dyson. This is a good all-around club, but the Astros and Mariners should be right there. This should be a three-way division race. 

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2. Houston Astros:  This lineup is scary with Jose Altuve, Carlos Correa, Carlos Beltran and George Springer leading the assault. When you have four reliable bats like that -- a nice mix of youth, experience, power and athleticism -- that takes the pressure off your hit-or-miss guys. In this case, the second set of bats are Brian McCann, Josh Reddick, Yulieski Gurriel and Alex Bregman. With a lineup this deep, there is literally no pressure on Gurriel and Bregman, two guys who are new to the bigs with tremendous power potential. This lineup is just frightful, especially with a left-field fence that's about 300 feet. 

Unfortunately, this club can't run away because its pitching is suspect, if I'm being polite. I'll buy into Lance McCullers (if healthy), but Dallas Keuchel, Collin McHugh and Mike Fiers have all peaked at different times in recent years. They aren't scaring opposing bats in the AL West, trust me. 

Lastly, Houston's bullpen is arguably the weakest of the AL contenders. Ken Giles has always been highly-touted for his high 90s heater, but he's only had short streaks of success as a closer. That's to be expected in various situations around the league because closer is the most volatile position, but Will Harris and Luke Gregerson don't inspire confidence as the safety nets on the depth chart. 

Like the Orioles, this club will have to hit its way to the Promised Land. 

3. Seattle Mariners:  Their starting outfield of Jarrod Dyson, Leonys Martin and Mitch Haniger is just bizarre to me. Obviously Dyson is intended to be the legs, Haniger is the bat and Martin is supposed to be a mild combination of both -- but is this an outfield of a club that's ready to outperform the Rangers and Astros?

Robinson Cano, Nelson Cruz and Kyle Seager will again be asked to carry the offensive load, while "King" Felix Hernandez and Hisashi Iwakuma continue to sit atop Seattle's rotation. Felix's velocity is rapidly declining, so mercurial lefties James Paxton and/or Drew Smyly may have to step up. Both southpaws have been wildly inconsistent over the past couple seasons. 

In the end, I can (mostly) get behind the Mariners' offense and starting pitching, but their bullpen is a MAJOR concern. Young closer Edwin Diaz is their only plus reliever (if I'm being generous because he doesn't have much of a track record), and their second-best -- the sometimes shaky Steve Cishek -- is beginning the season on the DL. This team has a playoff shot if everything breaks right, but in my opinion, they're a little behind the eight ball. 

4. Oakland Athletics:  I have a gut feeling Billy Beane's boys are going to hit well this season. We all suspect that steroids are an integral part of Oakland's "Moneyball" system -- Jason Giambi, Miguel Tejada, Eric Chavez, Billy Koch, Bartolo Colon, Scott Kazmir, Rich Hill, Stephen Vogt and now probably Khris Davis -- so I think we'll see some "surprising" production from newcomers Rajai Davis, Trevor Plouffe and Matt Joyce. 

That doesn't change the fact that their starting pitching is shitty. Sonny Gray battled injuries and took a major step backward last season, and he's going to start this year on the DL with a lat strain. That means Kendall Graveman will again be asked to carry this staff, and he's just OK. He pitched well for my fantasy team last season, but he throws 90 and his offspeed stuff is unspectacular. The rest of Beane's starters are laughable and not worth my words. 

Their bullpen should be workable with vets like Ryan Madson, Sean Doolittle, Santiago Casilla and John Axford. A few guys approaching retirement there; but good enough. The A's aren't a contender unless their starting pitchers juice up like the Monstars in Space Jam. 

5. Los Angeles Angels:  Some franchises are so poorly managed that it makes knowledgeable baseball people cringe. I'm a knowledgeable baseball person, and my stomach hurts the instant I think about the disaster that are the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Can you imagine having the best position player in his physical prime, and yet your club keeps getting worse and worse, year after year? In theory, when you have a true franchise player like Mike Trout, you should be able to build something special around him. Instead, GM Billy Eppler goes out and grabs Luis Valbuena and Danny Espinosa, so they can strand Trout every time he's on base. I value professional at bats, and Valbuena and Espinosa are two of the LEAST professional hitters in the game. Holes in their swings like you wouldn't believe. Two of the easiest strikeouts in the league. 

After Garrett Richards -- who I like and project to bounce back nicely this season -- the Angels' rotation is a trash pile consisting of journeymen and soft tossers. Speaking of juice...Matt Shoemaker was averaging 87-88 two seasons ago, but jumped to 93 last year. Magically, his stats improved. Weird how that happens. 

Annnnyway, the Angels aren't going anywhere. Steve Jobs would be appalled by the management of this organization. 

NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST

1. Washington Nationals

2. New York Mets

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Oooh weeeeee, this was a close one. I'm taking the Nats over the long haul of the regular season because I really like what they've done to plug their lineup holes over the past two years. A few years ago I never really considered them a contender because they had too many guys who could be pitched to (for the Mets, that's Jay Bruce, Lucas Duda and Travis d'Arnaud). Now, in addition to prized incumbents Bryce Harper and Anthony Rendon, they have Daniel Murphy, Trea Turner, Adam Eaton and Matt Wieters. This fear-inducing lineup appears to be in the wrong league, does it not?

On the flip side, the Nats lack the bullpen stability that Jeurys Familia and Addison Reed provide for Terry Collins' Mets. Washington is all-in on offense and starting pitching, and that may come back to bite them in the postseason (though I expect GM Mike Rizzo will be on the market for a true closer throughout the year). The Mets are also deeper in starting pitching, and that is important when both clubs have injury concerns like Matt Harvey, Stephen Strasburg and Jacob deGrom. 

It's splitting hairs between these two teams, but the Nats' bats will choke less than the Mets. Washington will hit with more consistency under pressure. 

3. Atlanta Braves:  Just as I had a gut feeling about the Houston Rockets heading into the NBA season, a similar feeling is festering about the Braves. I like the logic behind what they have done. Putting Matt Kemp behind Freddie Freeman turned this into an entirely different club last season, as they were one of the NL's best down the stretch. They have a nice mixture of "win now" and "prepare for later." 

Brandon Phillips, Nick Markakis, Bartolo Colon, R.A. Dickey and Jaime Garcia are intended to help you win this season, with rapidly-approaching expiration dates. Dansby Swanson, Adonis Garcia, Mike Foltynewicz, Arodys Vizcaino and Mauricio Cabrera set you up for later. 

I like a front office that makes logical decisions. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. Find a nice mixture of youngsters, primetime guys and vets. That's always been the key. The magic key isn't inside a tangential algorithm. 

Keep your eye on this club. I'm not sleeping on them as a Mets fan.

4. Miami Marlins:  Can't really say anything negative about the Marlins' lineup. Christian Yelich, Giancarlo Stanton and Marcell Ozuna continue to provide a solid nucleus for Miami's offense, while Martin Prado, J.T. Realmuto, Dee Gordon and Justin Bour should be quite helpful in supporting roles.

The more I look at this club's roster, the more I realize they aren't bad at all. The NL East is going to be a competitive nightmare this season. The glaring issue for the Marlins is of course, the devastating death of electric ace Jose Fernandez. Dan Straily and Edinson Volquez should be decent, cost-effective additions to the rotation, but you simply cannot replace a star in his prime like Jose.

However, Miami has an excellent bullpen featuring A.J. Ramos, Kyle Barraclough, Brad Ziegler, David Phelps, Junichi Tazawa and Dustin McGowan. All right-handers, but they all have a lot to offer in their respective roles. It pains me to say it...but there are 4 playoff contenders in the NL East.

5. Philadelphia Phillies:  On a smaller scale than the Braves, this is another organization whose personnel moves are starting to make some sense. Unfortunately, the Phillies are trending in the right direction when their division is at its strongest in years.

Howie Kendrick and Michael Saunders are logical veteran additions who should be able to reap the benefits of Citizens Bank Park's little league dimensions. In the pitching department, the same goes for the pick-ups of Clay Buchholz and Joaquin Benoit. Philly's front office strategy is clear: Maybe these guys can help us win now, but even if they don't, we can deal them to contenders at the trade deadline. Makes plenty of sense to me.

The strength of this club is its starting rotation, with the addition of Buchholz -- who should find the NL to be a walk in the park after suffering for so long in the brutal AL East/Fenway Park -- to fellow vet Jeremy Hellickson and 3 up-and-comers in Vince Velasquez, Jerad Eickhoff and Aaron Nola. I don't expect the Phils to roll over for anyone this year.

NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL

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1. Chicago Cubs:  I think we're all pretty familiar with the Cubs' personnel at this point, so there are really only two keys to discuss:

(1) On the positive side, the 3-1 comeback against the Indians in the World Series allows them to turn the corner, mentally, as a group. They looked mentally feeble the preceding postseason in a gutless sweep at the hands of my Mets, and they weren't exactly convincing in series wins over the weaker Giants and Dodgers. Now, mentally, they should finally have some of that necessary invincibility. This will carry them a long way; similar to the Royals' follow-up the season after they reached the World Series for the first time in a long time. 

(2) On the negative side, I'm not so sure Wade Davis is the answer in the closer's role. He's been overworked for many years now, and his dominance may finally have worn away. He had forearm issues last year, and he's been getting shellacked in the spring. Hector Rondon and Pedro Strop better be ready. I could see Theo Epstein snatching a headline closer at the deadline again. 

All things considered, we know this is one of the teams to beat. 

2. St. Louis Cardinals:  I mean, they always just find a way, don't they?

Familiar faces return, with the notable additions being Dexter Fowler (free agency) and Lance Lynn (injury). Their starting pitching should be especially strong, and they always seem to have the mental toughness to hit with RISP. They'll be a central part of the abnormally deep NL Wild Card race. 

3. Pittsburgh Pirates:  My prediction for this year's Orioles is kind of what happened to the Pirates last season. You can only fight so hard for a stupid one-game playoff for so long. Pittsburgh has taken multiple losses in recent NL Wild Card games, and last season they just didn't have any fight left down the stretch. Unfortunately, they are going to be in a similar position in the standings this time around. 

This organization continues to revolve around the talented outfield trio of Starling Marte, Andrew McCutchen and Gregory Polanco. I liked their rotation pick-up of Ivan Nova last year (I tend to like any NL pitching acquisition of a guy with decent-to-good stuff who under-performed in the AL, see the aforementioned Clay Buchholz), and he'll support ace Gerrit Cole as youngsters Jameson Taillon and Tyler Glasnow continue to develop. This is a rotation with good, pure stuff. 

Bullpen is questionable patchwork, with Daniel Hudson and Tony Watson dueling for the closer's role. This is a nice team, but without even getting to the NL West, they're already in a Wild Card mosh pit with the Mets, Braves, Marlins and Cardinals. The sledding will be slippery and difficult. 

4. Milwaukee Brewers:  I see some good things here, but their overall talent level isn't significant enough to stay in the playoff hunt. Ryan Braun is a steady force in the heart of the order; Jonathan Villar and Hernan Perez bring speed, youth and exuberance, while Eric Thames, Travis Shaw and Keon Broxton are the wild cards. Thames was once a 4th or 5th outfielder for the Blue Jays, but he became a megastar overseas. He's another clear steroid candidate, so he should be in for a career year in the MLB. 

I like the feisty Junior Guerra atop their rotation, but the rest are nothing to write home about. Their bullpen is predominantly a pile of rejects. 

5. Cincinnati Reds:  I'm getting bored and don't feel like writing much more, and fittingly, the Reds aren't a team to waste too many words on. Joey Votto, Adam Duvall and a bunch of scraps. Their ace, Anthony DeSclafani (who I actually do like), just got shut down as well. Should be a long season. 

NATIONAL LEAGUE WEST

I'll let the photos do the talking here...

5. San Diego Padres

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4. Colorado Rockies

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3. San Francisco Giants

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2. Arizona Diamondbacks

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1. Los Angeles Dodgers

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THE POSTSEASON

NATIONAL LEAGUE

Wild Card Game:  Mets over Giants, 3-1

NLDS:  Mets over Cubs, 3-2 and Nationals over Dodgers, 3-1

NLCS:  Mets over Nationals, 4-2

AMERICAN LEAGUE

Wild Card Game:  Tigers over Astros, 6-4

ALDS:  Indians over Tigers, 3-1 and Red Sox over Rangers, 3-1

ALCS:  Indians over Red Sox, 4-1

WORLD SERIES

CLEVELAND INDIANS OVER THE NEW YORK METS, 4-1.

Our Mets fall short once again. What a surprise. 

Late-Night Boredom Reviews: The Revenant, A Perfect Murder and Joy

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THE REVENANT (2015)

The Revenant's greatest strength is that it's a standalone work -- it's entirely its own thing. Sure we've seen straightforward revenge stories like The Brave One (Jodie Foster), Man on Fire (Denzel Washington) and Death Sentence (Kevin Bacon) before, but ingenious director Alejandro Inarritu had no intentions of allowing The Revenant to travel down a similar, beaten path. 

I've seen this description in other reviews, but I think it's true: You don't really watch The Revenant, you experience it. Inarritu and his Academy Award winning cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki transport us to a dark, cold, lonely and unforgiving world. There's snow on the ground. The wind howls with longing. Deadly Native Americans lurk in the shadows. No one is safe, or happy.

All the while, Ryuichi Sakamoto and Carsten Nicolai's haunting score eats away at us. Hopelessness is their sound. 

Inarritu's well-deserved accolades for Birdman allowed him the flexibility to assemble this Dream Team of cinematography, music and acting. With the biggest movie star in the world at the top of his billing, Inarritu set out to put his cast and crew through hell. And that he did. The result was a product that feels authentic, and that's an awfully difficult thing to achieve when you have a director, cinematographer and actor all fishing for awards and recognition. 

Right? When the Academy Award winning director teams up with the Academy Award winning cinematographer, the top star in the industry (Leonardo DiCaprio), another superstar (Tom Hardy) and a rising talent (Domhnall Gleeson), we know what they are trying to accomplish, don't we?

And yet, The Revenant doesn't play like awards bait. It isn't beautifully written or well-paced, but it also isn't disingenuous cookie-cutter crap. In a year that featured Best Picture nominees like Brooklyn (contrived, artificial trash), The Martian (safe), Bridge of Spies (safe), The Big Short (overrated screenplay) and Mad Max: Fury Road (absolute dogshit), The Revenant was a breath of fresh air. I personally like both Spotlight and Steve Jobs better, but The Revenant's supporters have plenty of ammunition. 

For me, this wasn't the best performance of DiCaprio's career -- I prefer Jordan Belfort, Calvin Candie, Howard Hughes and to be honest, Jay Gatsby -- but he channeled the hell of filming well. Playing Hugh Glass required a more physical performance than usual, and I commend Leo for stepping out of his comfort zone. He may be a lofty movie star who buys into his own hype, but he fully commits to his roles. That, combined with careful film selections and of course, his charm, are why he's risen to the acting throne.

The Revenant is at its best in the opening hour of the action. I don't want to give too much away, but let's just say we get two spectacular action sequences that you will not forget. One of those scenes is one of the most jaw-dropping I've ever seen. Really incredible CGI.

The film drags through the middle section -- you could say, literally -- but there are some interesting survival techniques and absolutely gorgeous shots of the snow-lined landscape. This movie is far from perfect, but it's most certainly a work of art. The pounding score meshes beautifully with many of Lubezki's awe-inspiring panoramic shots.

Hardy gives a little depth to his despicable villain, but you have to look hard for it. Gleeson is a delight as the crew captain who is very simply, a good man. He leads with rationality and fairness.

All in all, The Revenant is best suited for audience members who view film as a pure artform. This is not a story-driven movie, but I think it's worth seeing. It has its flaws, but I promise you will remember it. 

** JOHNNY FRO'S RATING:  8.5 out of 10 **

A PERFECT MURDER (1998)

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Not long after its theatrical release, when it first reached syndication, I had seen about half of A Perfect Murder. It was an absolute mistake not to watch it from the beginning, and I was probably too young to understand what a high-quality film this is. Watching it in its entirety a couple of times in the past few months, I can safely say that this is a very tight screenplay with very little excess fat. Screenwriter Patrick Smith Kelly did a heck of a job, though he only went on to pen Don't Say a Word (also starring Michael Douglas). Does anyone know what happened to him?

Anyway, much of A Perfect Murder's fun lies in its twists and turns, so I won't discuss much of the plot. However, I will say this: In my opinion, this film does not have a protagonist. That in itself is a very unusual concept. Steven Taylor (Douglas), Emily Taylor (Gwyneth Paltrow) and David Shaw (Viggo Mortensen) have all sinned in different ways. A morally flexible viewer will find themselves rooting for and against each individual character at different times throughout the unfolding of the plot. They each get duped. They each make critical mistakes. 

Of course, a movie that leans so heavily on three performances has to be well-acted to succeed. Douglas is shifty and slick, Paltrow is simultaneously pained and strong, and Mortensen is slimy and at times, a bit humorous. It's a mouse, cat and dog game. Is that a thing?

I tend to really enjoy a movie when I find myself agreeing with the little choices that are made by the filmmakers. I believe every film requires tens of thousands of decisions. You can survive a few missteps, but the more you make, the more your film slips into mediocrity and/or obscurity. Director Andrew Davis, screenwriter Smith Kelly, Douglas, Paltrow and Mortensen all make good decisions. I was delighted by each of the shifts in the narrative. 

When the credits rolled after my first end-to-end viewing, I was a bit stunned by how good this film was. Lo and behold, my follow-up research quickly revealed that A Perfect Murder was inspired by Alfred Hitchcock's Dial M for Murder, one of the few of his I haven't seen. Needless to say, I wasn't the least bit surprised. 

Any adult with half a brain and a moderate attention span should enjoy this movie. Highly recommended. 

** JOHNNY FRO'S RATING:  9 out of 10 **

JOY (2015)

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Things inevitably get messy in a David O. Russell film, and this one simply flies off the tracks. Joy is an unfocused film that never seems to know where it's going, and the blame falls solely on Russell's shoulders. This one got away and never came back. 

Jennifer Lawrence does her best with the lead role of Joy Mangano, but Russell's approach to her personal struggles is just too heavy-handed. This movie is like the white girl version of The Pursuit of Happyness, but it lacks the latter's small touches of grace and feeling. Joy is a loud, clunky mess. 

Robert De Niro essentially reprises his oft-annoying role from Silver Linings Playbook (a far superior Russell flick), while Bradley Cooper's part feels underwritten. I think a significant portion of his character was left on the cutting room floor, and the plot displays those holes. 

There are a few strong scenes -- when Joy desperately pitches one of her products in a crowded parking lot; when a salesman torpedoes her dreams on the QVC network and near the end, when she returns the favor after reaching the big time -- but those moments are far and few between. 

I really enjoy Silver Linings Playbook and I liked many aspects of Russell's American Hustle, but Joy simply isn't very good. Don't waste your time, unless you're really desperate for something to watch. 

** JOHNNY FRO'S RATING:  5.5 out of 10 **

Late-Night Boredom's Updated Rankings:

1. A Perfect Murder (9/10)

2. Bad Moms (9/10)

3. The Revenant (8.5/10)

4. The Shallows (7.5/10)

5. The Night Before (7/10)

6. 10 Cloverfield Lane (7/10)

7. The Walk (7/10)

8. Joy (5.5/10)

Reviews to Come...

Steve Jobs

Untraceable

The Wonder Boys

Jackie Brown

Mean Streets

Nerve

The Hateful Eight

The Seven Five

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

How to Be Single

Basquiat

Deadpool

Ratatouille

The Spectacular Now

And more...

NFL Quarterback Power Rankings: Mariota & Prescott Rocket Up the Rankings

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It's "Captain Live" DJ Toby's favorite time of year. 

No, not the holidays, but the time for me to rank the NFL's notable quarterbacks. He'll read this list, blow a gasket, and then I'll receive 447 texts from friends and family members who want to know why I'm so friggin' high on Marcus Mariota. 

Before we get into it, as always, I have to explain my system:

1. The current season carries the most weight in my mind, but last year deserves some consideration, and the year prior gets an iota. 

2. Second half, it's a close game...can this quarterback protect the ball, maximize possessions and make plays under intense physical and emotional pressure?

3. Does this guy have confidence in his ability? And if so, is that confidence warranted, or is he an absolute moron like Robert Griffin III? 

4. Physical skills to consider: Arm strength, accuracy, footwork, throwing mechanics, mobility in and out of the pocket, field vision, ability to extend plays, size, strength and agility. 

5. Mental skills to consider: Game preparation, knowledge of opposing defenses, pocket presence, clock and score awareness, confidence to check out of poor playcalls in exchange for upgrades, ability to rebound from mistakes and awareness of personal limitations. 

I'm probably forgetting something, but let's get rollin'...

Dishonorable Mention(s):  You couldn't even make the top 75???

Cardale Jones - Bills

Christian Hackenberg - Jets

Johnny Fro's Top 75

75. Jacoby Brissett, Patriots:  Protected the ball well in a decisive victory over the Texans in Week 3. If you watched the game, you had to consider the following possibility:

Is Jacoby Brissett better than Brock Osweiler? Isn't Osweiler making over $70 million, while Brissett is a kid from the practice squad?

74. Kellen Clemens, Chargers:  Philip Rivers is so durable that the Chargers don't even know if Clemens can complete a 5-yard pass anymore. He could be the worst player in the world, but no one would know the difference right now. 

73. Matt Schaub, Falcons:  I feel like I say this every year, but...yes, this guy is still in the league. Yes, his pass velocity is in the vicinity of 42 MPH. 

72. Scott Tolzien, Colts

71. Joe Webb, Panthers:  An athletic third-stringer who can make plays with his legs if necessary. 

70. Sean Mannion, Rams:  Yeah, so I only know him from Hard Knocks. Who are you trying to kid? You know we're in the same boat. 

69. Josh Johnson, Giants

68. Austin Davis, Broncos

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67. Paxton Lynch, Broncos:  Gawky, clumsy, inaccurate and ill-prepared. Haven't seen any hopeful signs for the future in his rookie year. 

66. Landry Jones, Steelers:  Not sure why the Steelers never upgrade here. Whenever Ben goes down -- which is essentially a foregone conclusion at this stage of his career -- Pittsburgh deflates like Ronda Rousey's ego after her sobering loss to Holly Holm. This list will show that there are about 6 or 7 solid third-stringers out there. They should be back-ups. 

65. E.J. Manuel, Bills

64. Zach Mettenberger, Steelers:  An anti-Zylbertttt guy. As you can see, I think he's a bit better than his teammate, Jones. I thought Mettenberger played fairly well in Tennessee given impossible circumstances. He'll never be a starter, but he could be a back-up. 

63. Matt Cassel, Titans

62. Brett Hundley, Packers

61. Jared Goff, Rams:  When you're the No. 1 overall selection in the NFL Draft, and you're joining an offense that has been a laughingstock since Kurt Warner left, and you can't beat out Case Keenum in training camp...that says an awful lot, doesn't it?

These are the reads I have on Goff: Dumb, childish, unwilling to learn and/or make adjustments with overrated physical tools. He'll need an offensive genius to take over their playbook in order to avoid becoming one of the biggest busts in NFL history.

60. Bryce Petty, Jets:  I like his energy and competitiveness, but the mental skills simply aren't there. All young quarterbacks are going to throw interceptions, but some of his have been absolutely mind-boggling. He's just not reading coverages. Some will say "he needs time to learn," but I doubt he'll ever get an extended opportunity at the NFL level. He'll hope to be a career back-up, and make some nice money.

59. T.J. Yates, Dolphins:  Very surprised that he was initially a third-stringer this season. He's moved up to back-up by default, due to the injury to "franchise quarterback" Ryan Tannehill, but as one of the top 64, he should already have been a back-up. He did a very nice job filling in for Brian Hoyer in Houston last season; he has some moxie.

58. Dan Orlovsky, Lions:  A talented career back-up who never gets to take many snaps. The QBs ahead of him have been durable.

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57. A.J. McCarron, Bengals

56. Matt McGloin, Raiders

55. Chase Daniel, Eagles

54. Luke McCown, Saints

53. Christian Ponder, 49ers:  Another one I'm surprised to see as a third-stringer. He's no world beater, but he was an adequate starter for much of his run in Minnesota. Not loaded with talent, but understands the nuances of the position and protects the ball relatively well. Too solid to be the 3rd man on one of the worst teams in the game.

52. Drew Stanton, Cardinals

51. Robert Griffin III, Browns:  I originally had him 49th, but he's just really, really bad. He's terrible without his mobility. His reads are slow and he's horribly inaccurate. There is no question that he's the worst quarterback on the Browns, and yet he continues to start. Hue Jackson is an embarrassment to coaching. If he doesn't get canned, then the Browns organization simply doesn't care about winning. They will continue to be a laughingstock.

50. Tom Savage, Texans:  It doesn't take much to outplay Osweiler, but Savage looked pretty sharp after Bill O'Brien handed him the keys. (Aside: I've probably said this to everyone I know who follows football, but if the Texans win their division or somehow reach the postseason again, O'Brien HAS to be Coach of the Year. This guy is a miracle-worker. Consider Osweiler's embarrassing play combined with the absence of JJ Watt.) 

The key for Savage will be remembering that he has nothing to lose. It's impossible for him to be more disappointing than Osweiler (John Elway is looking savvy once again, right?). Savage needs to play with confidence and lean on DeAndre Hopkins when he can. I think he'll be decent. 

49. Chad Henne, Jaguars

48. Brandon Weeden, Texans:  Can't believe he's a third-stringer. Weeden is an underrated pocket quarterback who does a nice job when given opportunities. He has confidence in his arm and is a seasoned vet. With him, you don't feel like your season is completely over if your starter goes down. No question he should be a back-up elsewhere. 

47. Derek Anderson, Panthers

46. Blaine Gabbert, 49ers:  He's wildly inaccurate, a la Robert Griffin, but I was surprisingly impressed by Gabbert's athleticism and foot speed during his stint as a starter this season. He's a playmaker; he just can't make the throws. If he could somehow correct his accuracy issues, he could potentially manipulate opposing defenses with his run/pass versatility. I doubt his broken arm can be fixed at this point, though. 

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45. Brock Osweiler, Texans:  The only thing I like about him is that he gets rid of the ball quickly. He could be like Alex Smith, if he didn't suck so much. He stays ahead of Savage and Weeden until we see Savage play a couple games. Osweiler has played poorly, but he also protected some close wins by not screwing up royally. That's occasional value for a team that needs to win close by nature. 

44. Colt McCoy, Redskins:  A high-energy, high-character leader who is universally admired by his teammates and coaches. He has the will to win and doesn't back down from anybody, even if he's the inferior talent in the fight. I'll take him on my team any day of the week.

43. Mark Sanchez, Cowboys:  Still one of the more seasoned back-up quarterbacks in the league, but he happens to be on a roster that boasts Dak Prescott and Tony Romo. "Sanchize" can go elsewhere and easily be a primary back-up. 

42. Colin Kaepernick, 49ers:  Still has the legs, but can't complete a pass anymore. Chip Kelly is somehow making his 49er quarterbacks worse as time passes. 

41. Matt Barkley, Bears:  When Brian Hoyer initially went down and Barkley was forced into their Thursday Night game against the Packers, the latter looked as if he had never played football before. Barkley had zero awareness of blitzes or blind-side pressure, and the Packers subsequently pulled away in the second half. 

But now, with Hoyer and Jay Cutler both out of the way, Barkley has settled in and played surprisingly well. He broke out with a high-volume, big-number passing performance against the Titans, and has played with confidence and rhythm ever since. I'm not sure he'll ever be a full-time starting quarterback, but he has certainly raised some eyebrows in the past handful of weeks. It's nearly impossible to find a reliable QB at the NFL level, so Barkley has earned his newfound position on the radar.

40. Ryan Mallett, Ravens:  I want my Jets to clean house at QB, and I think Mallett is an outsider who deserves an opportunity to compete for a starting job. His professionalism has come into question in the past, but his talent is hard to come by. He's a big, strong, imposing figure under center, and he has the arm to make the pro throws.

Case in point: Long-term, Bill O'Brien went with "character" guys in Hoyer and Osweiler over Mallett...is he really better off? Has an offense with DeAndre Hopkins, Lamar Miller and Will Fuller reached its full potential? I don't think I need to answer that question. Give me the talent first...we'll deal with the "character" issues later.

39. Nick Foles, Chiefs:  Another guy I'd like my Jets to take a look at. The pickings are slim -- you have to look for back-ups who could potentially be decent-to-solid starters.

38. Case Keenum, Rams

37. Ryan Fitzpatrick, Jets:  This is exactly what happened: (1) Fitz was upset that the Jets wouldn't just give him the salary that he wanted. (2) He's an Ivy League guy -- he was aware, in all likelihood, that this would be his final season as a starter in the NFL. (3) From the very beginning of the season, he made it very clear that he would not be taking any crushing blows from opposing defensive players. He would rather get rid of the ball quickly and heave it into quadruple coverage, than hold on to the ball a millisecond longer in an effort to make the right throw. 

He mailed in the season. Plain and simple. 

36. Josh McCown, Browns

35. Shaun Hill, Vikings

34. Mike Glennon, Bucs:  Another Jet candidate for me. Bring him in. 

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33. Carson Wentz, Eagles:  We saw some really good things early in the season -- before opposing defensive coordinators had the chance to gameplan for his style -- but once "the word" was out, Wentz fell to one of the least productive starting QBs in the game. I don't see any electric ability here. 

32. Trevor Siemian, Broncos:  A very boring, average NFL quarterback. Not terrible, but not a franchise cornerstone. 

31. Blake Bortles, Jaguars:  We all witnessed the REAL Blake Bortles this season. He was a fantasy darling in 2015, but he's nothing more than a garbage time, mop-up man. His arm action is too long and his nerves too weak for crunch time NFL action. He doesn't have the goods when the going gets tough. I mean, just say his name out loud:  Blake...Bortles. He doesn't even sound like a good NFL QB. 

30. Sam Bradford, Vikings:  Go ahead, tell me that he is the 7th ranked quarterback this season. I know he is. I know the stats...but you're never going to fool me. Franchises will never go anywhere with Sam Bradford as their starting quarterback because he's soft mentally and physically, and limited from a talent standpoint.

Let's go over the facts: (1) The Vikings are undefeated and everything is going swimmingly before Bradford is acquired. (2) Minnesota inexplicably burns a 1st round pick to acquire this clown of a quarterback. (3) Norv Turner mysteriously quits when he realizes how horrible Bradford really is. (4) What was once a promising season, has now deteriorated to the point where there's a mutiny against quality head coach Mike Zimmer. 

All dysfunction leads back to Bradford. How did things end up with the Rams and Eagles? Have those franchises been able to correct the wrongs perpetrated by Bradford's primadonna presence on their rosters? I think not. 

29. Jay Cutler, Bears:  "The saddest thing in life is wasted talent." - A Bronx Tale

28. Cody Kessler, Browns:  It's truly a travesty that Hue Jackson has been voluntarily starting Robert Griffin III over this hungry and surprisingly talented kid. Kessler has a quicker release than RGIII, superior accuracy, timing, toughness and natural acumen for his position. He's CLEARLY a better all-around quarterback than Griffin. Any football fan could tell you that; let alone an "expert" or "insider."

27. Teddy Bridgewater, Vikings:  The story of his devastating injury is still upsetting to read. 

26. Brian Hoyer, Bears

25. Jimmy Garoppolo, Patriots:  I have to admit...I was hoping that Garoppolo was one of those all-hype, no-substance back-ups whose positive reputation was concocted by beat reporters repeating that he "looks great in practice." Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. I mean, why would I even think that in the first place? Does anything ever go wrong for the Patriots? Does anything ever go right for the Jets? No and no. I should friggin' learn my lesson at this point. I just have to give in to reality.

Anyway, I was really impressed by Garoppolo's leadership, positive mentality, lightning-quick release and shockingly advanced timing during his short stint as Bill Belichick's primary signal caller. He looked poised, prepared and completely ready to start at the NFL level. That's a credit to Belichick, Josh McDaniels, Tom Brady and of most importantly, Garoppolo himself. He'll go on to big things. 

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24. Matt Moore, Dolphins:  After riding the pine for a couple seasons, Moore was totally ready to go when Ryan Tannehill went down. Moore has always been positive, confident and talented enough to succeed at the game's highest level. He's my kind of guy. A true professional. The kind of guy that teammates naturally rally around. 

23. Tony Romo, Cowboys:  I don't think he'll ever be healthy enough to be a full-time starter again. He's only this high on my list for his pure talent. His career is most certainly in jeopardy. 

22. Ryan Tannehill, Dolphins:  Gotta give head coach Adam Gase a ton of credit for sticking with his guy. I've bashed Tannehill throughout his sub-par career, but he finally showed some improvement under Gase's savvy tutelage. Of course he goes down when he's playing the best ball of his professional career. Football is a cruel game. It'll break your heart every time. 

21. Tyrod Taylor, Bills

20. Andy Dalton, Bengals

19. Carson Palmer, Cardinals

18. Jameis Winston, Bucs:  He has a lower QB rating than Cody Kessler, Brian Hoyer and Colin Kaepernick, but his "fuck it" gunslinger attitude has proven successful in tight, late-game scenarios. Winston has pulled out a number of close victories this season by making aggressive throws and squeezing them into ridiculously tight windows. I tip my cap to his results this season; I'm just not sure he can sustain this high-wire, tightrope act over time. 

17. Joe Flacco, Ravens

16. Alex Smith, Chiefs:  I'm personally a huge Alex Smith guy because I love running the ball, controlling the clock and limiting turnovers. That would be my personal coaching style. Smith does his job for Andy Reid, and does it well, but the numbers simply aren't there. 13 touchdowns, 7 picks and a pedestrian 89.9 QB rating. 

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15. Dak Prescott, Cowboys:  3rd in the NFL in QB rating (a whopping 105.6). 23 touchdowns to only 4 interceptions. Only 4 picks for the entire season! And his team boasts an incredible 13-2 record.

Does that look like an MVP to you? Because it certainly does to me. 

I've heard all of the LUDICROUS knocks on this kid: (1) "He's only this good because of his offensive line." (2) "He's only this good because Ezekiel Elliott takes all of the pressure off their passing game." (3) He's only this good because Jason Garrett calls 'simple' plays for him."

Seriously??? Give me a f'n break, people!! I'm sick of all of these haters who insist on knocking players, instead of giving credit where credit is due. Where do we draw the line as a society? Guys who suck in every facet of the game, like Robert Griffin III, deserve to get bashed. But rookies who are defying all the odds and playing consistently superb NFL football?

Come on. This has to stop. If the Cowboys offensive line is responsible for ALL of their success -- which I keep hearing from the pundits, over and over again -- then why did they have the WORST record in the NFC last season? Wasn't it essentially the same offensive line? Why are they 13-2 this year, after being 4-12 last?

The answers are Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott. Two front-line MVP candidates. That's it. Simple. 

14. Eli Manning, Giants:  This is perhaps the worst I've ever seen him play. If the current trends continue, there's no way he'll be ahead of Prescott next year. I just don't have the cojones to put a rookie ahead of a two-time Super Bowl champion whose team is still winning games, and is also going to be in the playoffs. It doesn't seem logical to me...yet. My leash is short. 

13. Philip Rivers, Chargers:  Got more and more careless as yet another disappointing season progressed. You have to remain professional at all times if you want to be a top 10 quarterback. You can't make wild throws simply because you are unhappy. I will not reward that. 

12. Matthew Stafford, Lions:  Calvin Johnson's unexpected retirement forced Stafford to open up his field vision. He spread the ball around to Golden Tate, Marvin Jones, Anquan Boldin, Eric Ebron and Theo Riddick this season. Stafford has always been one of the more naturally gifted quarterbacks in the world, but this year he boosted his stock with much improved efficiency. 22 touchdowns to only 9 interceptions, and his Lions have been a surprise in the playoff hunt. 

11. Kirk Cousins, Redskins:  Man, Jay Gruden has coached this guy up, big time. Gruden was always known as a quarterback guru, and he has not disappointed during the development of Cousins. When Cousins first earned a few snaps at the NFL level, he was a downfield gunslinger who had no intention of sustaining long, productive drives. It was all or nothing.

Now, a few years later, Cousins manages the huddle well, controls clock and tempo, gets rid of the ball quickly and decisively, delivers on time to a difficult array of routes and mixes short and long passes beautifully. It's extremely hard for an opposing defense to settle in against the 2016 version of Kirk Cousins. He and Gruden deserve all the credit in the world. I was really blown away by Cousins this year. Another spot-on selection by fantasy sports legend, Steve Summer. 

10. Andrew Luck, Colts:  It was a bounce-back statistical season for Luck, but once again he failed miserably in the must-win games. This will likely be the story of his career. Big name. Lot of talent. Short of expectations. 

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9. Marcus Mariota, Titans:  There are approximately 50 quarterbacks who can move the chains pretty well in the middle of the field. Less than 10 are truly successful in the redzone. Marcus Mariota is the best redzone quarterback in the world. Did you know that Mariota began his career with 30 touchdowns in the redzone...without throwing a single interception? Do you know how impossible that is, playing on a Titans team that does not have a No. 1 receiver?

You can come back at me with whatever stats you want; I don't care. I want my team scoring in the redzone. I do NOT want my team turning the ball over in the redzone. Marcus Mariota is EXACTLY my kind of quarterback. His success is even more astonishing when you consider the lack of receiving talent on his team. The Titans have been a crappy team for quite some time. Mariota has single-handedly turned his franchise around. Such a shame to see him go off on that cart...

8. Russell Wilson, Seahawks:  Worst I've ever seen him play this season. If he doesn't recommit to the run, his career may continue trending in the wrong direction. And yet, the Seahawks still win, and we know Russ has the magic factor. He's a crunch-time player. 

7. Cam Newton, Panthers:  Perhaps the most physically gifted quarterback, but we know he's a headcase. Gets down on his teammates when things aren't going well. He should be a top 5 QB, but his attitude has been porous this season, and the Panthers haven't played well as a whole. 

6. Derek Carr, Raiders:  Shows clear and convincing improvement every single year. 28 touchdowns to only 6 interceptions this season! Super impressive.

He has a loose arm, can make all the throws and is a fun guy to watch. The sky is the limit. I'm sick to my stomach for Raiders fans. I can't even imagine how they feel. Oh wait, I'm a Jets fan. My life is Hell. 

5. Drew Brees, Saints:  Do I really need to say anything? Just keeps on doing what he does. 

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4. Matt Ryan, Falcons:  Has reached a new level this season. In my opinion it's a three-horse race for MVP:  Ryan, Elliott and Prescott, but I know Brady is going to steal some votes. When you miss 4 games because you cheated, you shouldn't be in contention with guys who have suited up and played spectacularly all year. 

3. Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers

2. Aaron Rodgers, Packers

1. Tom Brady, Patriots:  Ugh. Painful. 

Bring on the complaints...

Late-Night Boredom Reviews: 10 Cloverfield Lane and Bad Moms

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Before we jump into the ring for Round 2 of "Late-Night Boredom Reviews," I'd like to thank all of you who took the time to send complimentary texts and emails about Volume I. I promise to keep the movie reviews coming, as requested. 

In addition, as we move forward, I'll keep Power Rankings at the bottom of each post. Hopefully I'll be able to recommend some films worth your time. 

No superhero films from me...I'm sorry. 

10 CLOVERFIELD LANE (2016)

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10 Cloverfield Lane is a film I wanted to see since the release of its initial trailer because the mystery elements of the plot were instantaneously intriguing. Everyone likes twists and big reveals, right? 

The immediate questions that popped to mind were why is Howard (an unpredictable John Goodman) keeping Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, in "Final Girl" mode) and Emmett (a better-than-usual John Gallagher Jr.) captive? And is there really a catastrophically apocalyptic event going on outside Howard's secluded, rural "safe house"?

10 Cloverfield Lane answers those essential questions, but takes its time getting there. I really wanted to like this movie going in, so I have to keep those tilted preconceptions in mind as I review the film. Little-known director Dan Trachtenberg -- who received a major opportunity here from powerful producer J.J. Abrams -- does a nice job perpetuating the thought, what exactly is going on? throughout the proceedings, but I'm not sure his film lives up to its 90% score on Rotten Tomatoes. I saw this movie a couple of months ago, and the question that continues to nag me is do I want to watch 10 Cloverfield Lane again?

And at this point, I'm pretty sure the answer is no. The underlying problem with screenwriters Josh Campbell and Matthew Steucken's setup is that we're constantly wondering about what's going on outside of Howard's home, instead of being engaged by what's going on inside. That doesn't make for a good ratio when 95 percent of the plot takes place inside.

Goodman keeps us guessing in his showy role -- is he a misunderstood hero who saved two young people from certain death, or a twisted sicko in desperate need of some company? -- and Winstead and Gallagher are both good, but I didn't particularly care for the screenplay or its pacing.

Some of its saving graces are sort-of subtle nods to Stephen King's Misery and The Shining, Alfred Hitchcock's uber-famous Psycho and horror-fan favorite, Saw. Abrams is a seasoned industry vet with vast and detailed knowledge of the horror/suspense genre and it shows, especially in the first third of the film, when three of those references take place.

All aspects considered, 10 Cloverfield Lane has an interesting premise and a few surprises, but Tasha Robinson's analysis of its subtext is more consistently interesting than the film itself.

** JOHNNY FRO'S RATING:  7 out of 10 **

BAD MOMS (2016)

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Bad Moms was peddled by an unusual marketing campaign; one quite contrary to the film's defining tenets. Yes, at one point Amy (Mila Kunis) convinces Carla (Kathryn Hahn) and Kiki (Kristen Bell) to be "bad moms" with her, but they never actually deliver on that pact. Even the stuck-up bitches, Gwendolyn (Christina Applegate) and Stacy (Jada Pinkett Smith), are good moms in this movie. The only one who teeters on unfit is Carla, and even she has her merits as a funny, foul-mouthed single mom who doesn't take shit from anyone. 

So, when you watch Bad Moms, you'll quickly begin to realize that it's really about good moms who need an occasional break from the frenzy. Working full-time jobs, rushing the kids to school, keeping everyone fed and wasting precious time at painful PTA meetings -- they may sound like cliches, but directors Jon Lucas and Scott Moore put them up on the big screen, and they scare the shit out of us. 

How do moms do all of this, and somehow manage to keep it together? It truly is amazing. Sure we live in an evolving American society where stay-at-home dads are popping up here and there, but let's be real -- mom is still carrying the load in most families. Forget about TV and movies; how many stay-at-home dads do you personally know? My grand total is zero. 

Bad Moms is a really good movie with many strengths, but its greatest strength is undoubtedly its cast: Kunis is so natural and likable in the everywoman lead; Bell is adorable as a cheerily submissive and sheltered mother (it's funny how she has transitioned from sexy parts in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Couples Retreat and Burlesque to more wholesome roles since becoming a mom in real life); Hahn is as over-the-top and hilarious as ever, and David Walton (as Mike, Amy's soon-to-be ex-husband) and Jay Hernandez (as Jessie, a widower and her refreshing new love interest) are both effective in the movie's only significant male roles. 

Kunis, Bell and Hayn have wonderful chemistry and comedic timing as a trio, and Walton and Hernandez are both good fits for Kunis. Walton plays a total douchebag who still manages to be funny at times, and we really root for Kunis and Hernandez when the romantic sparks begin to fly. Any real woman would say Jessie is too good to be true, but we want Amy to have him because her home life is such a friggin' whirlwind. This woman needs to exhale. 

As the movie progressed and I found myself continuing to agree with most of the screenwriting decisions, I decided to research the scribes. Boy was I surprised to find that directors Lucas and Moore also wrote their material. 

Why is that surprising? Because these are the guys who wrote The Hangover. 

Not exactly who you were expecting, right? Bad Moms is extremely fair to women and astutely understanding of their unequal burdens as modern-day mothers; whereas The Hangover's primary female characters are a prostitute (Heather Graham) and a stone-cold bitch (Rachael Harris). Upon The Hangover's release and subsequent smash status, its detractors pounced on its raging misogyny. 

Are Lucas and Moore trying to "write" past wrongs here? Or are they simply more versatile and open-minded than haters initially thought?

I think the latter. Check out Bad Moms -- it's a nice movie for both women and men, with some laughs and a universally relatable message. The interview sequence during the closing credits is particularly touching. Make sure you watch all the way to the end.

** JOHNNY FRO'S RATING:  9 out of 10 **

Late-Night Boredom's Completed Rankings:

1. Bad Moms (9/10)

2. The Shallows (7.5/10)

3. The Night Before (7/10)

4. 10 Cloverfield Lane (7/10)

5. The Walk (7/10)

Reviews to Come...

Nerve

The Hateful Eight

Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

How to Be Single

Basquiat

Deadpool

A Perfect Murder

The Revenant

Joy

And more...